Annoying Business Jargon and Management Speak

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dhaughey
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I'd like to start a thread on annoying jargon and management speak we all hate. I'll get started with three of my cringe worthy favourites:

One phrase I hate, and hear a lot in project meetings is 'Deep Dive', as in - 'let's take this problem off-line and do a deep dive'. Perhaps we could just analyse the problem.

Next phrase that makes me cringe is 'Drill Down'. I don't know about you, but I'm not working for an oil company and my business doesn't involve any drilling. Perhaps we could just take a detailed look.

'End of play' is my third phrase, as in - 'let's finish this deliverable by end of play tomorrow'. This is usually followed by people asking exactly when 'end of play' is? Perhaps we could finished the deliverable by 5pm Friday.

I've noted some jargon and words people used at work this week, and for those of us confused by such things, their meaning in brackets:

Verbiage: (using too many words or technical language).
Squaring the circle: (solving an unusually difficult problem).
Abeyance: (temporary disuse or suspension).
Going forward: (in the future).

I'm looking forward to hearing your examples of annoying jargon and management speak. What really gets you?
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kwalford
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Ha ha.

My ex-manager used to say: 'It is what it is'

Isn't that just pointing out the obvious?
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dhaughey
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Ha ha!

That reminds me of a manager I had some years ago, that if you forgot something, used to say - 'write it on your forehead'.

I never really understood this expression, because if you write anything on your forehead you can't see it, and if you look in a mirror what you have written is backwards, so you still can't read it.

It always made me laugh when he said it, which was quite often.
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dhaughey
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I was in a meeting yesterday where the presenter used the phrases 'low hanging fruit', 'blue sky thinking' and 'going forward' in one sentence. She even said it with a straight face. I was cringing on her behalf.

Anyway, can't stop, I'm off to pick some low hanging fruit, while running it up the flag pole to see who salutes it during a deep dive.

It's fun listening for meaningless management speak!
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begeland
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I like this thread! I personally use 'going forward' so I'll have to say that I like that or I'd be a hypocrite. And I do use 'drill down' though actually very rarely.

I had a manager back in the late 80's who used to say 'gut level feel.' Like, my gut level feel is that we should probably go ahead and fund this project. I found that to be a pretty odd business phrase.

When I started working at a company in the mid-2000's as Sr. PM, they gave me one of their latest promo t-shirts about their recent business software release....and the slogan said something about how their software could help you 'grow your business.' I'm sorry, that just didn't sound right at all to me. I couldn't stop laughing as soon as they gave me the shirt. I didn't wear it - or give it to my kids.

Good thread Duncan...I had to share these but I'll try to think of others.

Brad
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kwalford
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Maybe not necessarily a bad phrase to use but I caught myself using:

- Touch base later
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