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How To Read A Person Like A Book by Gerard I Nierenberg et al

Posted: Mon 11 Apr 2011 2:18 am
by satisfactionuk
Hi, If you have read the other books on personal development that I have suggested in this forum by now you would have realised that you really do need to pick up on the non verbal communications (NVC's) that your target is unconsciously making in every encounter with you. Very often a persons NVC will tell you more about what they are really thinking than their words alone.

Having a good knowledge of NVC is essential when it comes to persuading people, selling your ideas and wants or playing the corporate political game in order to get commitment and valuable resources. How to read a person like a book is the best practical book I know for anyone starting to look at NVC for the first time.

Many inexperienced people who read this book for the first time do so with an attitude that they are then going to go out and read the behavioural habits of every person that they come into contact with.

I personally think this is definitely the wrong attitude and starting point for this sort of study. One must always assume that the person that you are talking to has read the book so the first person you should experiment on is yourself.

As a project manager you not only have to influence a lot of people but also get them on your side, get them to like you as a person and more importantly you need to get them to trust you and your judgement. It makes sense then to practice all the positive lessons in the book until they become second nature to you.

Learning these lessons and really polishing them will mean that in every situation that you encounter you will give an open, friendly and positive image. You will also be able to give that image even though your body language is actually in conflict with your verbal communication and intentions, which can be very useful at times.
Kind regards

Stephan Toth